Radar to the Rescue
by katladyd
Summary: This is a short story I've had wandering through my mind for a while now. It was quiet tonight, so I finished writing it. I don't any part of MASH at all, but I liked writing this story using one of the characters.


Radar to the Rescue

 **The 4077** **th** **personnel are in big trouble.** **Who can save them?** **RADAR?**

Let me tell you the whole story. It's kinda long, but here goes:

It was right after Christmas and the flight back from Tokyo seemed to last forever. I wasn't exactly looking forward to getting back to the 4077. Why would I be? Everyone there treated me like a kid. Oh, they appreciated it when I was the only one who could get a call through to a family member, or when I could locate supplies that no one else seemed able to find. Then I was Good Ol' Radar, the best company clerk in Korea. But besides that, most people seem to think I was invisible. I was never invited to drink with any of the guys in The Swamp, no siree. None of the nurses ever dropped not so subtle hints that they would like to meet me after hours in the Supply Hut. Nope. Never. And the doctors, all of them, seemed to ignore me unless there was something they needed either in the OR or someplace else.

Nope, nobody at the place ever seemed to notice me unless I could do something for them. Even Nurse Jordan, Katy Jordan to be exact, never looked my way. Even when she did need something she never came to me about it. She always asked Hawkeye to ask me. That made sense, I guess. Hawkeye is tall, good looking, and a real man of the world. Things I am definitely not. I bet he gave up sleeping with his teddy bear years ago. Hey, a guy needs a little something to hold on the cold, dark nights in a war zone, even if isn't the cute blonde nurse he has a crush on.

Why did Nurse Jordan have to be so pretty and why did she have to be so nice to everyone, everyone but me, that is. Heck, I'll bet she has plenty of offers to sneak away and do kissin' and stuff. I suppose I could have asked her to go with me for a Grape Nehi, but I bet she'd probably look at me like her kid brother and make up some kinda excuse not to. I guess I don't have what girls like. I'm not tall, I'm not exactly handsome, and I wear glasses. Three strikes and you're out, just like in baseball.

Anyway, the plane landed and the soldier assigned to get me back to the 4077th met me at the airport and we were on our way. We didn't talk much along the way. Like everyone else, he pretty much ignored me. It was dark when he pulled the jeep up outside the camp and helped me unload my luggage. Funny, there was no one on sentry duty, not even Klinger, the one person I was kinda looking forward to seeing. I wanted to see what kind of dress he was wearing that night for guard duty. He always told me that accessories made the outfit and I loved seeing how he pulled his different outfits together. You'd think I'd want to keep my distance from someone who was trying to get a Section 8, but I liked Klinger. He never ignored me and sometimes he even helped me out in the clerk's office. He was the closest thing I had to a real pal at the place.

Anyway, no one was around so I figured some wounded must have come in and they were all in the OR. Well, I was partly right. I walked over to the OR and snuck a peek through a window in the double doors. I didn't want them to see me and put me right to work. A guy needs to decompress when he first comes back from R & R in Tokyo. Besides, the only time most of them even cared I was there was when they needed a gofer to get them something while they were working on a soldier. There was nothing wrong with that, they couldn't leave their patient to bleed to death while the went to find some gauze, but still, it didn't feel good to be treated like that. Curiosity got the better of me and I looked through the window. What I saw made my eyes get big and my heart start to pound real hard.

I ducked down real quick and then slowly stood up and looked through the window again, but this time I was a little more careful about it. My heart started pounding harder when I saw all the guys and girls from the camp tied up in chairs and some North Korean soldiers pointing some nasty looking guns at their heads. I guess they were a scouting party that ran into the 4077th instead of an regular US army unit. Golly! Who was going to help them? I counted heads real fast and saw that everyone from the camp was tied to a chair or laying on the floor. Then I saw one of the North Korean guys looking at Nurse Jordan in a way I didn't like at all! I could almost tell what he was thinkin' and that made my blood boil. Katy Jordan may not have known I existed, but I loved her and I had to save her from that guy!

I decided it had to be me who did something about this. Me, Radar O'Reilly, camp misfit, was all they had. I ran out to a jeep and tried to start it. I turned the key and nothing happened. I didn't have time to lift the hood to find out what they had done to it, I just figured whatever they did it to this one, they probably did the same thing to all of them. I thought real hard. Now what? How could I go for help? Thanks to being in Tokyo and being sort of near the top brass, I kinda knew where the nearest American unit was, but it was miles away from the 4077th and how could I get there? I couldn't walk. Everyone would be dead or worse by the time I got back. I had to calm down and think. Then it came to me. Sophie!

Yeah! I could go for help by riding Sophie. She was used to war sounds and she was as gentle and calm as any horse in a war zone could be. Maybe calmer. I was used to animals and I can't remember the first time I rode a horse. All I know was I was real little. I can ride pretty good, even bareback, which was what I needed to do. I didn't have to time to put on a saddle or anything. My friends' lives depended on it.

So, I want to the stable where we kept Sophie and put on her bridle and swung up on her back. I reached into my jacket pocket and gave her a lump of sugar. I always carry some on me to feed her. We're friends that way. Anyway, I got her out of the camp real quiet like and headed down the road toward the army unit, which was led by a Captain Frazier. I didn't really know him, but since he was American, I knew he would do something to save everybody back at the camp.

Sophie and I picked our way off the usual path, I didn't want any of the enemy to spot us. Thank goodness Sophie stayed calm. She was even calmer than me, which is what made her such a neat horse. We went up and down the mountain trails, and let me tell you, this was in December and December in Korea is COLD! I had my jacket on, but it really wasn't keeping me warm. I laid my body down on Sophie's neck and that kept me from freezing to death. Golly, I love that horse. Anyway, after a few hours I figured we should have been near the camp and, sure enough, right before sunrise Sophie and I trotted up to the nearest soldier we found and asked for Captain Frazier. The guy pointed to the largest tent and Sophie and I thanked him and took off to find him.

I called out, "Is Captain Frazier here? I have an emergency!"

A tall man with a moustache came out of the tent and asked me, "Who are you, young man? And where did you get that horse?"

I kinda swallowed real hard and answered, "Sir, my name is Corporal O'Reilly and my camp has been taken hostage by an enemy unit, Sir."

He looked at me like I was weird or something and blurted out, "Where did you get the horse?"

I told him, "She belongs to my commanding officer, Sir."

He began to grin a little and asked me another question, "And who would that be?"

I was still a little scared, but I told him, "Colonel Sherman Potter, Sir."

His eyes got real big and he grabbed me by the shoulders and almost shouted, "Sherm's in trouble?"

I took a big gulp and nodded, "Yes Sir. Big trouble. The last time I saw him he had a gun to his head."

He let go of my shoulders and fired another question at me, "Are you from the 4077th?"

I nodded again and explained, "Yes Sir. Everyone there is tied up and I think the enemy wants to kill them. I came back from Tokyo and found them all tied up in the OR."

The Captain patted Sophie on the neck and talked to me real nice, like Colonel Potter always did, "Calm down, son. I doubt killing a bunch of doctors and nurses is what they want. Most likely they want to take them prisoner and use them to barter for something."

I didn't like the sound of that, either and I told him, "Yes Sir, but that still ain't good."

His mouth went in a straight line and he looked past me, into the sky or something and then kind of muttered to himself, "No, it's not." He looked back at me again and said, "Soldier, I'm going to call in air support and get your friends out of trouble. Can you and your horse wait here while l make a couple of phone calls?

I nodded one more time and told him, "Yes Sir. We can wait."

Well, I don't know who he called, but within five minutes we heard a bunch of choppers headed towards the 4077th. "Hey, won't the enemy hear the choppers and run?" I asked him.

He patted me on the shoulder and said in a real nice voice, "Relax, Corporal. They are going to land a little ways away from the hospital. Everyone hears choppers at a distance all the time around here. They won't think anything of it. Now, let's get you and that fine animal warm and then get you both something to eat."

I had no problem with that and I just nodded. I soon had a cup of hot coffee (boy, does stuff taste really good when you're really cold) and some rations in front of me, which I really appreciated.

Within the hour, Captain Frazier, who's a real swell guy, came over to me and said, "Son, I think you and Sophie can go back to the 4077th now. Our boys did their job and all your people are safe. I'd say they all owe you a lot of thanks. You did a very brave thing, Corporal O'Reilly, and I'm sure the army is going to reward that kind of bravery."

I turned real red and told him, "I just wanted everyone rescued. I don't need any reward."

The Captain laughed and said, "Well, I think there's no avoiding it. I do believe a medal for bravery is coming your way. Now, do you need any more food or any kind of supplies to take back with you?"

I thought real hard for minute then told him, "How about a nice horse blanket for Sophie? She got pretty cold last night, and she was real brave, too."

"She sure was, son. You both were. Here, take this parka for yourself and I'll have one of my men fashion some kind of blanket for Sophie."

I thought that was real swell of him and I said, "Gee whiz, thanks! You've been real nice."

"And you were very brave and determined. Our country needs more men like you, Corporal O'Reilly. Oh, by the way, I have some messages from your friends for you." He handed me a thick stack of papers. "Go on, son. Read them."

So I did. They were all pretty nice, like all the doctors and nurses said really nice things to me. But three of the messages stood out.

One was from Colonel Potter. It read, "Radar, I've always thought the world of you, and now I see why. What you did was very resourceful and you represented our country well. If you don't get a promotion from this, there will be hell for someone to pay, from ME! Thank you, son. You're my hero."

The second one was from Klinger. It said, "Hey Radar, I don't know what to say except that you are my best friend in the camp and you can borrow anything I own if you ever decide to go for a Section 8. My entire wardrobe is at your disposal. Your friend, Max."

But the best one came from Nurse Jordan. It said, "Radar, you were so brave and daring! I never knew you had it in you, but I guess I have always underestimated you. I will never do that again. Are you free to go for a Grape Nehi with me when you get back? I sure hope so. And after, maybe we could take a private tour of the Supply Hut together. Love, Katy."

I won't go into any details about what happened between me and Katy when I got back to the 4077th. Let's just say I don't sleep with my teddy bear anymore.

 **Well, it seems Radar saved the people of the 4077** **th** **and got the girl.** **Not exactly canon, but I enjoyed writing a different kind of MASH story.**


End file.
